Chapter V

dear heart,

just do nothing. 

say nothing. 

be still.

quit interfering, 

and wanting to be something you’re not.

let my eyes be,

and my mind return to what it once was.

you make everything difficult. 

you seek for stars between the sky and earth. 

you set fires in fields,

then celebrate to see a shoot which survived your carnage. 

you turn whispers to shouts 

and pain to elation. 

you change my mind,

 and paint my heart in your colours. 

so stop, 

be still.

dear heart,

do nothing. 

be nothing. 


Blue Smoke 

The taste lingers in my mouth and my lips feel dry…

Mucus,gathering in my throat doesn’t feel quite right yet.

But I take another drag on my cigarette, 

Watching insignificant blue smoke curl up,

higher and higher into nothingness. 


White smoke rushes out,

masking my vision. 

But that’s fine, I feel more in control now.

Tapping against the coaster.


Settling more comfortably into my seat,

I see clearly through the screen of my own creation.

What matters truly and what doesn’t, 

What the years will do to you and what moments can unravel. 

I sit here, bathed in white.

And in those moments, 

I am.



3/05/2017 ​

Image courtesy of Google 

For you.

Sayõnara ,

I say goodbye to us today.

Standing, with my arms spread wide.

Willing invincible forces to bring you once more within my embrace. 

We’re letting it go today.

All the expectations and castles everyone dreamt up on our behalf. 

We’re thankful, 

but we must decline. 

I’ll leave this here now, 

a sad reminder.

So when time passes,and seasons change as I know they always will,

I’ll come back to this place 

with a healed heart, empty arms… 

to remember how much I waited

and how strong I’ve been and can be. 

 (c) Charis



I got knocked outFell and emerged in an alternate reality

Like I escaped Davy Jones Locker

They said love was in the air

And I thought I was safe with this gas mask

But you cracked it

Slipped passed my defences

And before I could think to yell intruder

You had infiltrated parts of me I had closed thinking I would be safe

It’s like you were designed just for my genetic code 

I’m not surprised though because you know more of the human anatomy than I can comprehend 

So I have always been at a defensive disadvantage to your potent love strain.


THE way

We act like theres a formula 

to this and that 


an answer to our every struggle. 
but if there was, wouldn’t we have found it 

by now

if it existed 

there’d be A change.
Maybe the balance won’t tip,

maybe the answer is right in our faces,

maybe is not about us,

maybe we’ve been wrong all this while. 
what if we act like there’s no formula 

I wonder how things would be then

progressive? stagnant? retrogressive?

no matter, all I can do is do it my way.



I need some sugar for my pain.

Sweeten the deal.

And then I’ll permit you to call all that happens to and around me ‘life’.

I’ll take the thick scarf you offer and the umbrella you keep waving in my face…

Take bold steps into the rain,

listen to your promises of protection and to a point, believe that I’m protected. 

I’ll keep silent when my socks get wet because of invincible holes in my boots.

Then come home and hang them dry on the line where I can see them all night,

Brew tea and sip it with my feet up the heater…and tell myself, ” I don’t feel cold”.

I’ll stay in this existence gladly, 

As long as I have some sugar daily. 

For my pain.