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I despise it when I think of you

You hold no place in my thoughts

Of course unless it’s to batter you

And clog your windpipe with one of my socks

I despise it when I remember you

The sweet times we had and such

From day one when we met and roses bloomed

To the last when trust wasnt so much

I can’t believe I can’t hate you

Because my heart betrays me instead

To be understanding and kind in the head

When all I want is to envision you dead

But I want you alive,  alive and well

But all broken up inside

To feel the torment,  ache and pain I had

And relive everyday I cried

I would haunt you if I were a ghost

I would destroy you if you were my host

But I would still visit your grave

Regretting each moment I promised you that your heart I was there to save

I can’t say the words anymore and I know

It was because of our long ago

And yet erasing my memory is much harder than it was to accept defeat and go

I loved u once and now I don’t know

I want you miserable and happy although

I guess this is best that I can do

It’s weird but this is all I can show

I’ll pray for you still

And pray that I will

Be able to write a love letter once more

I accept that it won’t

Forever be you

It hurts: a solid closed door

©Moon Willow


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