Discordant Mornings

The least favourite  part of my day is always it’s beginning,
And after that Ted talk…
i definitely know better,
But here i am again!
Silencing the fourth ring of my alarm !
My constant ritual in the unhappiest part of my day.

I could pile up all the facts,
But still come away with the same thing…
From childhood memories to adult realities – something hasn’t changed
A warm bath is great,
but it’s timed-  every thing is on  these horrible mornings.
Obediently , i hop into this and then to that  till I get to set engagements.

I could have had fifteen more minutes in bed…
Fifteen more minutes would have our arrival times synched.
If I’d known they’d be late… then I’d  just be on time to their time.
But here I am forced to listen and smile
Prompt replies to their stories of discordant mornings
As if….as if it’s a perfect day.

Charis2021

Recession

Haunted.
By the words I keep inside.
By ash..as it falls,
Slowly on me.
Forming a pattern? I don’t know.
Jigsaw to my puzzle,puppeteer to my pinocchio.
Of all the certainties that form  in our conversation.
By jove! See the bunnies beneath our bed.
Of the broom, leaning against unstable tables…
Beneath which the corners and so darkness resides.
By tracks of mascara when I cry.
Out in feeling ,
Stained handkerchiefs ,
Insomnia and camomile cups of tea.
By time and it’s flow has no regard
For this fact,
I’m haunted.

Charis2021

Entry

December 31st.
We’re still waiting for our better days.
The memories of yesterdays are yet to fade,
But i feel it- we all do.
Dear now,our lives are seeping away.
There’s nothing to be had without and so i dip within,
Kept safe in my only cocoon.
Things will change
Yes, and maybe i’ll become
A version who deserves all the nice things in life too.
[ ] Charis2020

Sonnenblume

Won’t you Awaken?
Come to me,
For In my mind I have….
Penned a hundred pieces for you,
Thought a thousand times times of all the times,
You had me riding on peaks.

And in my eyes you take residence,
Right there,
A million lanterns will always light up,
At your every move.
In the pain, pleasure and question.
Yes,the very existence of you

I hope,
To cleave from past realities,
Or the dreams of memories,
And make my way to where I must be.
And take up only what I must.
Even as I… Awaken.

Charis(2020)

!

Caught in the current,
and there’s blood everywhere.
Red. Stop!
I thought I’d recognize mine when the time came
But now,I know I’m not the only one.

Falling,
I’m doing damage,
but I bear no weapons.
I know how this looks…I convince myself everyday,
the blood at my feet isn’t mine.

Petrified.
but somehow,I move…we move.
over the beating of my heart I can’t hear any sounds.
but I recognize the motion,my state.
caught up where I do not belong.

© Charis2020

Where no one sees

They gathered up today,
And as a congregation,they laughed.
It looked so simple!
So I tried to do the same.
It hurt. I think I have some  wounds inside.

Tell me,
Are you silent because you know?
I’m the one with all the questions!
It’s that saying being played out.
It’s obvious. I think I know nothing.

Is it foolishness or grace?
Time will tell when all eyes are on me.
Watch me fall!
It’s my time for that sort of thing.
Puppet I am- definitely not a disgrace.

They asked how I was doing today.
I heard everyone fakes it anyway.
It looks so simple!
So I tried to do the same.
I tried. But I think I have some wounds inside.

11/04/2020.
Charis

fine print.

Ts And Cs Apply

All rights… reserved.
The audience,not so much.
They are as vocal as they come.
But you might want to sit down for this,
Grab your eyeglasses if need be.
You know how these things are presented…
It’s a fine print galore of theories and conspiracies.
Religion. Choice. Respect. Generational trends…
Redemption, and all its songs.
Shades of a colour… labels of different eras.
Voices all around.
They clash.
Form and call for reforms on shaky platforms and foundations.
Life losing it’s flavour.
Male,female… we’re fumbling
For something. Anything
Rules bend backward to have a better view of lady justice with the scales as she stands with her eyes wide shut.
But no matter…
It is, as it has always been, part of this game
We’re safe because,the Ts and Cs apply.

©Charis2020

Lasso

Lasso

Rock the boat,
Stir up the unknown.
Forget the lessons written in chalk!
Dive deep into the waters,
There,you just might find,
The hidden pearls of our existence.

Latch on to the passing moments,
Rope in the experiences.
Yes,find them before they do and set the measures.
Walk through fires and set some too
Embrace the heat
And you just might expand your horizon.

Dig up memories.
The dirt doesn’t matter.
That’s all it is and could ever hope to be.
Explore your depths.
Heal ,revel and you just might find,
All the wonderful treasures you missed before.

©Charis2020

How You Explain Your Failures May Determine Your Level of Success

Everyone has that niggling fear. Or maybe it’s not a fear, but a little thought nestling in the corner of your mind. Would life turn out as you envision? Would you be as rich as you hope? In a couple of years would it be regrets and ‘I-should-haves?’ I imagine it’s a common thought, because […]

How You Explain Your Failures May Determine Your Level of Success

LOST

Doors I shouldn’t open.
Names I should never call out,no matter the need.
‘Hush!!!’ Is the warning,
But it passed,
Unheard.
I’d thought it was the August winds.
Because I saw that dust was brought in with the
New chapters I ought not to browse.
Forbidden.
Tickles within, sneezes without,
And finally…
No one to shout blessings over me ,
Even as I went down,
Down the rabbit hole I had no business going in.

©️2019 Charis